Regardless of which method we will use to fortify an election in our favor, we have to have head room in the voter roles. If we need to add a 100 votes for our candidate, and there’s only 45 people that aren’t going to vote in this election, anything we do will raise red flags. Because of this, we need to plan ahead. When people die, move or just quit voting, we’ll keep them on the list. We’ll also do our best to sign up lots of folks and we know a good percentage of them will never vote, and if the rules are lax enough, don’t tell anyone, but we’ll just make people up and ad them to the rolls.
Now as we get to the end of the day we need a good idea about how many people from what districts turned out so we have a good idea of how many votes we may be short, so we need to get rid of the paper poll books and go electronic. If they’re electronic, we can look into the system and check out the details and can remotely show people voted who didn’t. Yes, I know they aren’t supposed to be connected to the internet, but most of them are and the rest of them communicate over the cellular system and we can work with that too.
Now there’s a number of ways we can get our votes into the system. We can log into the machines remotely and adjust the vote. Yes I know, none of them can be accessed remotely, nudge, nudge, wink, wink. To make it easier and quicker we’ll arrange to have a database program such as Microsoft SQL installed, but if we have the credentials or can guess them, we can work without that. Additional programs like SQL, should decertify the equipment, but most people don’t know that and others aren’t smart enough to figure it out so I think we’ll get away with that.
We can also do any number of things that will keep the ballots from processing properly which will force them into an adjudication situation. In that case one of our guys will look at it and decide what he wants it to be and log it that way. He may log it for our opponent because we don’t want things to get to out of balance you know.
Lastly we can just old fashioned stuff the ballot box with paper like they did in the old days. We can print extra ballots, have our guys scan the same ballots more than once. If we really need to ad a bunch of ballots, being able to do mail in ballots would be a great addition to the arsenal. We can then just drop them right in and in case we need even more and don’t want to have to worry about the postal service records we can do drop boxes too. Then we can add however much we need to any time we need to.
Now people will be resistant to some of these things, so we’ll make them seem desirable. We’ll make sure there’s always problems and lines at polling places so that people will want to vote by mail. If that’s not enough, maybe we can fake a disease or something so they really want other ways to vote. We can make early voting a thing and that will not only be convenient for people, but it will give us an idea about turn out before the big day so we have a little more time to plan.
If somebody thinks that there’s a problem we’ll just do a recount and count the same pieces of paper we added again, or if we weren’t able to get enough paper into the system to cover our electronic moves, we’ll do partial counts and we know where the good stuff and the bad stuff is so that will work out too.
Nobody will ever push to look at everything…..Will they? Naw and besides, the machines belong to a vendor and have proprietary software, so we’ll keep them away from that stuff. They’ll get tired and quit soon enough and we’ll be free to get ready for the next one. After we do this a couple more times, we’ll own the whole system and they won’t be able to question us anymore at all. We’ll just let them think they have a say.